Welcome - I am not crazy I swear

Throughout the past 3 or 4 years, I’ve been progressively coming to realizations. About myself, about the world around me and about what I want out of life. One of those realizations is that it is always going to be evolving as I learn new things and gain new experiences. BUT! I feel as though I am slowly “finding myself”, so to speak. Sounds corny AF I know.

“Myself”, I put in brackets because it is always going to be changing. Who I am today is a completely reformed, indistinguishable version of who I used to be. So it would be foolish to think that in 5, 10 or 20 years from now, the “I” of today will still be the same.

For example, when I was 13 years old, all I thought I wanted in life was to get married, have kids, a house and a dog. Seriously, this was my thought of a “complete” life. That’s laughable to me now – of course I still want those things to a certain degree, but those things alone are not sufficient to bring me the happiness I now strive for and therefore not my priority… ya feel?

The “I” of today wants a lot more than that. Real connection for example. To people, yes, but also to the world and the universe. I have found myself feeling spiritual in ways I had not ever imagined feeling. I guess it came through my interest in astronomy. I’ve always rejected organized religion but I'm also been super fascinated with what is happening up there in the sky. As a kid I’d ask my parents all the time what the earth is floating on and how far space goes. Is space infinite? What does that even mean? How can it be possible? What the hell is this? What are we?

For a long time I thought I’d never feel any sense of “higher spirituality” and I had no interest in it either. I believed in core science and facts, so believing in a “God” was like believing in Santa Clause. But with these questions about the universe and feeling of being so little and insignificant has given me a great sense of spirituality.

Anyways looks like I’ve already went off on a tangent. Which, to be honest, is something I will probably be doing on a regular basis so… bear with me. I don’t even know where I am going with this post to be honest LOL

Maybe I’m just trying to state that this thought blog is where I will be posting many of these “realizations” and also concerns about the world and society. I’ll probably be writing a lot about ethical issues, my thoughts on how fucked up the world is, and different ideas I have. So welcome! Hope you enjoy and be sure not to take anything too seriously. After all, I’m just a lost girl. ;)