Reflections in times of uncertainty - COVID-19 in India

*practical COVID-19 India updates below*

Line up at tiny fruit and veg stand this morning

Life seems to always be preparing you to face your next challenge, and whether you accept it or not, life never presents you with a challenge that you are unable to tackle… I don’t think I could have handled this situation if it wasn’t for all the inner work I’ve been doing. It seems convenient that I have been practicing meditation and yoga for the past 5-6 months. I was only meant to be in India for 1.5 months, which apparently turned into 6 months already... Wow… I honestly don’t believe it. And now I have no choice to be here for even longer. Being stuck in India during a global pandemic, with fragile food/water security and medical care options, and also no possible return to Canada in sight… Is a struggle I know life has presented to me because I am capable of taking it on... I have had moments of feeling completely overwhelmed and at a loss of belief that I truly have lost my sense of freedom… I’ve cried a lot and imagined the worst possible scenarios in my mind… But overall, I am handling this pretty well. This is also thanks to lovely people around me. I knew India wasn't done with me, but I wasn't expecting it to forcibly hold me here. It's almost like its telling me “What? You thought I’d let you leave, without testing you?” The big test… I don’t go to school but I am still a student... And I am being tested. Of course with all the mega learnings I’ve received here, I should expect a mega test. Thanks life… I see you…

Well that's my own little bubble of reality... but stepping back and looking at everything from above, with a global perspective, has been extremely helpful in maintaining my sanity. Many people are facing much more struggles than I am. In many many many different ways… So I feel very lucky. The planet is also getting a chance to breathe, to heal. Mother Earth finally said enough is enough and gave herself the medicine to kick our pesky asses. I also believe this entire global crisis this could trigger a flowering of human consciousness (as Eckhart Tolle puts it)– that is, a mass elevation of consciousness... or more people becoming enlightened. If people truly take this opportunity to step away from their regular lives filled with distraction and productivity… Slow down, contemplate, read, have revelations... My hope is that many many more humans will have a click and decide to jump into the revolution to live more sustainable, conscious and deeply fulfilling lives. Allow space for real love and connection, vulnerability, truth, and especially... more gratitude and appreciation for all life is constantly giving us... Appreciation for life as it is - without constantly seeking more. One thing I’ve truly appreciated these past days is how spoiled we are.... I have tried to cultivate deep gratitude for the basic things in my life, but wow… everything changes when you actually experience the anxiety of not having your basic needs met. Grocery stores full of fresh food, access to drinking water, a safe place to sleep, the freedom to move around (locally and globally…), communication…. All things we are spoiled with and tend to take for granted... Until it's taken away. Quick update of my situation...For food: luckily I stocked up on oatmeal, rice and lentils so I will be able to eat that this week for sure. I still have some fruit and veg left. Drinking water: I can walk to a spring which has natural drinking water, its about a 30 minute walk but OK... Roof: I feel safe in my place but there were rumors that the guesthouses would have to throw foreigners out. My old landlord was telling me to book a flight asap because if she had to throw me out she’d feel bad. (I tried booking flights but all canceled..) I think this rumor isn't necessarily true but still adds some anxiety. Freedom to move: can’t move out of India, or out of the state of Goa, and can’t really move freely out of my building because of the 21 day lockdown. Though we have been able to sneak to the beach sometimes... but the police are patrolling so I am more and more scared to do this. For communication… Non-COVID-19 related, India has recently shut down the data service in one state leaving millions of people with no ability to connect with their loved ones, due to some political issue. I am well aware that the fact I am able to communicate with basically whoever I want, is a huge privilege... We all share this privilege (most of us), but we easily forget how precious it is. We think it's guaranteed... but its not. I see people complaining on the internet about being bored and eating too much during quarantine and its making me crazy these days… Here we are rationing the food, uncertain when and if we will get fresh food... But I do honestly feel extremely lucky because of this experience - as it is making me understand on a much deeper level how privileged I am that I’ve never felt this before until now. Wow my whole life has been a BREEZE! Right now, the universe is giving us all an opportunity to understand the true value of what we have. Every single fruit, every moment we can hug a loved one, the freedom of being able to move around to wherever you want… It’s truly beautiful that we are receiving this wake up call. I am happy for the planet to rest, happy for the humans that will develop deeper relationships and higher consciousness, happy that this gives us an opportunity to feel compassion for each other... I'm grateful that I have this incredible opportunity to grow and really practice all I've learned and see what this whole experience turns into for me.

Last night two of my friends and I sneaked out and skinny dipped in the ocean and there was fluorescent plankton... Wow... Total bliss. It was so dark that the night sky and the ocean were looking like reflections of each other with the glowing plankton and the stars... It was like being in a void. Thank you universe... I am incredibly incredibly in awe of your magic.

Trying to stay optimistic as you may be able to tell... But what else can I do? Hope you are doing that too. But if not, it's also OK to feel despair, sadness, fear. I felt it just 2 days ago. And I'm sure I'll feel it again. I'm just riding this rollercoaster and enjoying the highs while they are here!

Practical information on what is going on here in Goa, India....

- Right now we are in a 21 day lockdown, 24/7, all shops closed except for pharmacies.

- This morning the small fruit stand opened and a giant line was formed, clearly unable to provide for everyone. There has been talk about the state providing delivery service for food... but no news on this yet.

- The borders are closed, all domestic flights have been canceled, no trains or busses, if you can find a taxi to bring you to the airport, you need a letter from your embassy that you are allowed to be transported to the airport - you will be stopped by the police.

-I tried booking multiple flights earlier in March but they are got cancelled. I have a flight from Delhi to Toronto March 30th, but my flight to Delhi from Goa has been cancelled and there is no way I can make my way to Delhi without flying there from here. It's across the country.

- I have heard a lot from people that locals are treating foreigners badly and blaming them for bringing in corona virus, luckily for me I am in a town which is full of foreigners and the locals here are (for now.... still civil with us)

-Kind of funny thing: The PM of India has asked the country at a specific time to yell out the windows, "GO CORONA! GO!" lol... I heard this from a friend so not verified info but pretty funny. There was also a day where at 5pm everyone had to yell out their windows as a show of support for healthcare and service workers.

- We haven't run out of toilet paper... Because here we use water (bum gun)!

What else...

Basically for now I am stuck here until April 15 minimum....

Then... maybeeeee I can get a commercial flight - not very clear as the situation evolves every day and flights cancelled for many different reasons.

The government of Canada is trying to repatriate us, but we are 15K...- I remember not that long ago joking that I'd be returning back to Canada with the Canadian forces... now doesn't seem very far from reality.

Many people here are aware that we are likely stuck here for several months. I am worried that it could be longer.